We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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