First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize