haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
