Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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