Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
