Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
