as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
