Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
