I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
