my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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