Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
