so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
