her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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