a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
