I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
