He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
