We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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