wakey wakey hands off snakey
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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