how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize