Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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