dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
