I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
