They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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