I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
