nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
