I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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