Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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