I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
