I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
