OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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