youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Your tits are I can't wait for
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Sorry about my life...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
