my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
