brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
