I hate your face
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
