in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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