I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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