This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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