the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
