I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
