I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
