what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
