i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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