You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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