we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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