Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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