Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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