we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
