don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
pray to the hookup gods
how drunk are you?
Several
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
