what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
