pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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