omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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