Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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