NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
