Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
