how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
